Most of them are very boring. ‘What time does the supermarket close?’ No idea. “What’s the name of that actress who’s baby you held and you didn’t realise who she was?' Can’t remember. ‘Can you send me the signed contract ASAP? No chance.
It was Rosamund Pike's baby by the way, I was just going goo goo at this very cute baby and then glanced at his mum, bit of a shock. I've been able to look this up as we now have our normal super slow connection back working.
But zero connection is really boring. It’s been dickey for the last 6 weeks, dead as old socks for the last 10 days.
So we go to a neighbour’s house with our laptops, I drive up the hill ‘to the woods’ to get a 4G connection, I sit outside the local Tesco store to use their free wifi. The list goes on.
We’ve lived in a rural area for 26 years, the first ten we didn’t have any internet connection, the following sixteen we had a bit of dial-up, that was fun, then about ten years ago we got something akin to broadband courtesy of BT. Ass numbingly slow, but it was always on and it always worked.
It’s a BT copper wire connection, I’d love to moan on and on about BT but I can’t be bothered, if we had a connection from any other company they’d still have to use the same wires, and these wires were strung up on poles in the 1950's.
But the most annoying part is the curse of net connection reliant software. So many applications rely on a net connection. I love google docs. Forget it. Even something I try not to use, Adobe Reader, goes all wibbly and keeps telling me it can’t get a connection. Microsoft Word, the new annoying Office 365 version gets all moody because ‘it can’t make a connection.'
What about the fact that I run a YouTube Channel, that I need to research and check things as I edit, what about sending xml files to my wonderful editor Mark.
Tesco, the woods, the neighbours, here I come. A massive time sink.
If this web business we rely on so much goes down big time, everything we use goes down with it. Not having an internet connection at home for almost 6 weeks has really brought all these problems to the forefront, believe me, when you use the wretched internet as much as I do and you can’t get on it, life turns into an annoying hassle.
Anyway, in the next 2 months, we hope, Fastershire will connect us up to the fibre optic cable that's buried in the lane where we live, I have been promised a synchronous gigabit connection, no data caps.
Guess what, when that finally works I will be a happy old man.