I suppose you’re going to get all ‘eco warrior’ and ‘green’ about fracking.
I beg your pardon?
Fracking, the extraction of cheap, low carbon natural gas that will transform our economy overnight.
Oh, is that right? I hadn’t heard it was cheap or low carbon. Silly of me.
Yeah, well if you will only read the Guardian of course you haven’t heard the real facts.
Would the Daily Mail be a more reliable news source when it comes to the future of energy?
Naturally.
So how does this fracking work?
Easy peasy. They drill down a bit.
A bit?
Yeah, drill down…
How far?
I dunno, quite deep.
Like what, 10 meters?
Yeah, probably more, I dunno, then…
How about 8,000 meters?
Yes, 8,000 meters, whatever, doesn’t matter.
Doesn’t sound very cheap so far. I mean, the technology required to drill 8,000 meters into the earth, that’s some chunky drilling.
Anyway.
The installation on the surface, say in a field near a village or town, it would be quite substantial, possibly covering a large area with all the toxic water storage needed, plus the drilling rig. Probably bigger than a wind turbine, but anyway, carry on.
Anyway..as I was saying, then they pump some shit down there which fracks the rocks up and hey ho, cheap gas comes out.
So they pump raw sewage into the earth’s crust!
Don’t try and be clever sunshine, no, chemical stuff, I said shit ‘cos it’s some clever chemical stuff.
What chemicals?
Fracking chemicals, it’s fine, they just pump that shit in and out comes the cheap gas. If we burn this natural gas it means we don’t have to burn coal to power your poxy electric car.
I agree we need to stop burning coal, but what chemicals. From what I remember fracking a single well requires up to 7 million gallons of water, plus an additional 400,000 gallons of additives, including lubricants, biocides, scale and rust inhibitors, solvents, foaming and defoaming agents, emulsifiers and de-emulsifiers, stabilizers and breakers.
Yeah, so?
About 70% of the liquid that goes down a borehole eventually comes up—now further tainted with such deep-earth compounds as sodium, chloride, bromide, arsenic, barium, uranium, radium and radon.
Yeah, but also there’s the cheap gas, loads of it, about 60% of the UK has gas under it so we can drill hundreds of holes, pump that shit in and get loads of cheap gas out. That way, we won’t need to put up any more of your ugly windmills.
I see, so then all we have is billions of gallons of toxic water to deal with plus the odd earthquake.
That’s a myth, it’s been proven to be all mythical, earthquakes my arse.
There have been numerous earthquakes recorded at or near fracking sites both in the UK and the USA, plus the possible contamination of sub aquifers, essentially our drinking water, but, as you say, the gas is ‘cheap.’ Not quite as cheap as the wind which drives wind turbines, and of course the wind turbines don’t create any CO2 or result in massive lakes of toxic waste water.
Yeah, well at least it’s not subsidized like your poxy eco windmills.
Mmm, interesting, as our chancellor George Osborne said …
He’s got it right, that George, very clever chap.
Indeed, he said, and I quote, "We are today consulting on a generous new tax regime for shale so that Britain is not left behind as gas prices tumble on the other side of the Atlantic."
What’s wrong with that? You communist!
A generous new tax regime is a subsidy, exactly the same as is given to manufacturers and installers of wind turbines. Fracking has to be subsidised because it’s so costly, inefficient and desperate. We’ve already burnt up all the easily retrievable reserves of gas and oil we had and now we’re about to start this insane, last ditch attempt at the final phase of the human delusion that we can drill and burn our way out of the energy crisis.
Whatever.
Oh, I thought you’d have some amazing facts to come back at me with.
George Osborne for Prime minister!
Have you taken your special pills?
I hate you.
I know.
Clarkson is God.
Some interesting links: